Xtremely Casual
(via 4gifs)
(Source: ForGIFs.com, via 4gifs)
What the letter said was that I found her very attractive and that I’d seen her walking her dog a lot and so I just wanted to say hello. It also said that I’d watched her several times through a window, but not like HER window or anything. I meant through my car window when I was driving. And that “watching,” sounds so creepy. It was more like I just happened to glance over and see her.
That was the gist of it. And I didn’t have any paper so I wrote it on an old traffic ticket envelope and put it under her windshield wiper blade.
“Hey!” she screamed.
I started to respond, but she marched right by me and up to the parking enforcement officer who I guess was standing behind me.
“I was parked just fine!” she screamed. “What is this, some sort of bullshit quota you have to fill?!”
He didn’t like the accusations and so he fired right back.
“I didn’t give you a ticket!”
“Liar!”
“Man oh man,” I thought.
And I guess she was having one of those days because she pulled a gun out of her purse and shot the parking officer three times in the chest. Then, she put the gun barrel in her own mouth and pulled the trigger. It was a huge mess.
“Well, I guess that’s a no,” I said, in a real sitcom-y voice.
“WAY-TO-MAKE-IT-ALL-ABOUT-YOU,” boomed the helmet fastened to my dog’s head that converted his barks to English.
I poured the remainder of my expensive latte on the dog’s helmet, which caused it to crackle and malfunction.
The right girl was out there somewhere. And I would find her.
Next to me, the dog’s helmet made a crackling noise. A sarcastic crackling noise.
(via photonphantom)
YOU OTHER READERS CAN’T DENY
WHEN A BOOK WALKS IN WITH A GOOD PLOT BASE
AND A BIG SPINE IN YOUR FACE YOU GET SPRUNG
WANNA PULL OUT YOUR PENS
‘CAUSE YOU NOTICED THAT BOOK WAS DENSE
READING, HALF-RIMS I’M WEARING
I’M HOOKED AND I AIN’T CARING
OH BABY I WANT AN E-READER
AND A MEANINGFUL METER
MY TEACHERS TRIED TO TRAIN ME
THAT BOOK YOU GOT MAKES ME SO BRAINY
OH MY GOD.
And then I died…
Why would you pull out a pen? DON’T YOU WRITE IN MY BOOKS
(Source: thedailywhat, via photonphantom)
(Source: casualtotheextreme, via supermissive)
(Source: tony-fuckin-stark, via boyinthebigbluebox)
This guy was told by his Homeowners Association that he couldn’t fly the American flag in his front yard.
Stever Rogers house
(via photonphantom)
(via boyinthebigbluebox)
Anonymous asked: Undergraduate at...univeristy?
Fuq da pohleese.
#so someone had a post about how this was a rape threat #which like… never crossed my mind tbh #i thought he was just going to kill her #because he’s crying#he’s so angry at her for fixing thor because he wasn’t the one to fix thor #i’m just really confused because i never thought that #and i still don’t #but okay.jpg (via burnupasun)
#This was never a rape threat #I don’t think Loki has it in him. #He’s not that type of villain and never will be #I think at this point he was still hurting from everything #he’s angry #and lashing out #and might not mean everything he says just yet because he’s still confused #He thinks Thor will be with him on this because of how Thor was #and then he comes back and he’s changed all of a sudden #So not only does Loki have to deal with everything that’s happened on Asgard #he has to deal with it alone.
^Except that it’s Loki, and he’s not at all a good guy regardless of tumblr fangirlism. Most likely he’d shapeshift himself to appear as Thor and seduce her, then reveal himself, laugh about it, then skip away happily.
(Source: tricksterings)
